Trolled for not being a mother
In a society where a woman’s worth is still associated with childbearing, countless women have remained targets of cyberbullying simply for not bearing children in-marriage-or-after.
Malawi’s media personality Priscilla Kayira Nsane knows this too well.

Since her marriage in 2022, her prospective motherhood status has been the spotlight; having faced relentless online scrutiny.
While her wedding was celebrated, the cheers turned into jeers after months passed without any news about a pregnancy.
At the centre of this is the question is: “Where are the kids?”
Two months ago, when Priscilla declared she was not ready for children, it attracted a peripheral of cyber condemnation as her post triggered a wave of insults and mockery, instead of people respecting her choice and right.
She adds: “Every post invited harassment and condescension. While I would want children someday, but the timing and decision rests with myself and my partner, not strangers on social media.”
The award-winning TV host said the constant entitlement to comment on her personal life became overwhelmingly disturbing; so much so that she has had to cease discussing motherhood online for fear of cyber-triggered-stress.
Reflecting on the pressure that comes with celebrity status of a childless-woman discussing motherhood issues, she says this has taken a toll on her life.
“Countless times, I have questioned myself, leading to depression and anxiety. But I have learnt that silence means a lot more than ignorance.
“So I have chosen to ignore the rest and focus on those who genuinely care for me. And so, my work has remained unaffected thanks to my loyal clients,” she explains.
This dilemma, isn’t exclusive to Priscilla.
Asiyatu Mponda from Balaka District, Traditional Authority Kalembo is also a victim of cyber-bullying.
Her crime is her infertility status; eight years into marriage she cannot bear a child, becoming a source of ridicule.
Asiyatu was harassed by family members on social media, inquiring about her childlessness.
“Eventually, I exited the social media groups because it was becoming heavy on me.
Priscilla believes bullying exposes double standards because men don’t often have such scrutiny.
“For their own reason, there also men who don’t want children, but this is rarely discussed.
“Society must recognise that raising a child requires serious preparation. Bringing a child into the world without readiness is a risk,” she observes.
However, despite the cyber-attacks, Priscilla refuses to step back from the spotlight.
Instead, she sees her experiences as inspirational.
“Sharing my journey gives hope to women facing similar struggles. The best response to nosy questions is remembering you owe your decisions only to yourself and your partner,” she advises.
At the heart of this problem is a society too judgmental and lacking emotional intelligence.
Thus, she says girls should be empowered to embrace who they are and not conform to societal expectations.

Psychologist Chilungamo Mmanga Namizinga, a lecturer at the Kamuzu University of Health Sciences (KUHeS), warned that cyberbullying can cause harm.
She said victims often experience sadness, shame, anxiety and depression.
Negative feedback may erode self-esteem, leading women to believe the hurtful comments.
Some withdraw socially, lose motivation, or perform poorly at work.
“Over time, both cyberbullying and stigma can trigger chronic mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and even post-traumatic stress disorder.
“Societal pressure to conform to motherhood expectations can push women into desperate decisions with some adopting to harmful coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or become suicidal.
“Some women fake pregnancies, others steal children, yet others avoid community involvement because they feel sidelined. The stress is worse when infertility is the reason,” she says.
As a solution, she suggests a supportive and self-care society that provides safe spaces, peer groups and saccess to mental health services.
According to Barbra Banda of NGO Gender Coordination, patriarchal norms are to blame as they value a woman’s worth to marriage and childbearing with those without children regarded as cursed.
She says online harassment is gender inequality arguing that men rarely face harassment for being childless.
“This reflects how technology is used to enforce harmful stereotypes, a thing that needs challenging because womanhood isn’t only about motherhood,” says Banda.
In a constitutional state such as Malawi, it is governed by the Cybersecurity Act and Gender Equality Act where she wonders why enforcement and women never get justice when they report online abuse.
“But there must be a solution. We need stronger impl ementat i o n , digital literacy and g e n d e r – s e n s i t i v e training,” she adds.